The focus of this journey for me has been on getting out on the trail. This focus has brought about feelings of excitement, apprehension, frustration, and wonder. I’m having a hard time finding a balance between wanting to now all the details and letting go and putting my trust into this expedition. Openness to the unknown is becoming more and more important as our departure date draws near, but I’m afraid of getting lost, both literally and figuratively. In the midst of this expansive chaos, the expedition became real for a couple of days on shakedown. We were out, we were riding, we were sleeping under the stars. The morning smelled like grain and burnt rice. The evening accented by the creaks and moans of the slow turning windmill. Feeling painfully aware of muscles we never knew we had. This is real.
This is real
September 7, 2009 at 1:22 am (Eleni, Shake Down)
Tags: balance, Beginnings, Shake Down, trust
Words from Shakedown
September 6, 2009 at 1:09 pm (Natasha, Shake Down)
Tags: Beginnings, Creative Writing, Mindfulness, Shake Down
After we came back from our 2 night preparatory trip, Mary led us in a writing exercise to help get us get something down on paper. We produced words and phrases from our experiences, swapped them, and wrote responses/reflections inspired by those words.
Attending: Bear witness to, pay attention to, be mindful of; without expectation or judgment be fully present and responsive to the horse, the group, the environment, one’s own actions and their repercussions. Perhaps the antithesis of blundering through the world, blinded by ego. Imagine the world is a sick fiend, and we are standing at their bedside, waiting and eager to respond to any request.
Small, but nagging, pain: The kind that slowly drives you mad. The kind that you’d rather were bone shattering, that would break you and be done with it, instead of the kind that eats away at your happiness, your resilience, at the whole world you have built up around yourself, and leaves you crouching like a starved creature in the dark, chewing your fingernails until that moment when your mind tires of self-pity and turns once more to the light and peace that was always there, waiting.
Giant Picnic Table: Like children in a world too big for us, playing house and soldiers in our parent’s basement, surrounded by objects whose value and meaning we could never truly fathom. We claim for ourselves a dusty armchair, not knowing whose tears soaked that dark upholstery, whose grandmother read romantic poetry to them on Saturday nights from its lofty, lamp-lit cushions. As we sit with our toes hovering above the desert dust, we claim for ourselves the world, we claim for ourselves this expedition, we claim for ourselves our own certainty, not knowing that a small rusty can in the bushes, silent and unattended, speaks of lost stories.
Try not, do
September 5, 2009 at 1:05 pm (90 Days... 90 Lessons..., Jordan, Shake Down)
Tags: Adventure, Horses, Shake Down, Tonto
Becoming comfortable is an ever evolving process of continual growth and the making of mistakes. With horseback riding, it is sheer consequence that no person can ever master it, but only grow in understanding. I believe this because the horse is an ever changing being that reacts with a very high amount of sensitivity attributed from one’s emotions.
Over the past few days on our shake-down, Tonto was very happy to be doing work. He is not the kind of horse that takes kindly to pony rides and jaunts in the park. According to his bio he is quite the adventurous one, and I can only imagine what our journey will bring when we start on Sept. 8 heading out for the adventure of a lifetime.
shaped by water…
September 5, 2009 at 11:55 am (Departure, Paul, Preparations, Shake Down)
Tags: Arizona Trail, countdown, Departure
Earlier this week Dr Tom Fleishner came to visit and reported that this has been the driest summer in Arizona since 1900. You can see the signs of this in the dry hole s by the windmills, the absence of mesquite beans, and fewer tuna on the prickly pears.
At the end of each day on our shakedown expedition I would lay down w/ tired muscles under threatening skies as storms spun off a hurricane in the gulf of mexico. Moisture passing off in every direction around us, but barely a sprinkle coming our way.
Of all te things that will shape this expedition across Arizona, the absence of water in an already parched landscape pushes us to depend on more resources; to depend on our logisiticians, the use of fossil fuels, and seeing the truck more than we wpould like. Saying yes to this journey is not a casual action- the challengesand costs are sobering. We comit ourselves to a process, a journey, not necessarily the destination. What possibilities will we create?
Jig-Saw
September 5, 2009 at 11:29 am (Departure, Horses, Nikki, Preparations, Shake Down)
Tags: mules, Nikki, planning, pregnant horses, Shake Down
The shake-down was just a hint at what is to come. The good, the bad,…. the mules…. We will all experience the rewards and costs of extended group back-country travel. The pieces that always appeared to be simply singular pieces are now beginning to make sense when placed next to the other pieces that work towards the whole. The disconnect, the scatter, the endless details are finally finding their space within the chaos. The connection of thoughts, ideas, words, and tangible matter is beginning to take form – the goal being that this journey will finally become its own entity. Without all the pieces, it remains fractured. With this coming-together of pieces, communication improves, visions solidify, and questions find their answers. We trust that soon the pieces will all fit together into the big picture. We trust in this while knowing that the picture will experience change frequently and the pieces will require shuffling. From watching a man shoulder-deep inside a horse checking for pregnancy to sharing a meal with our human and equine group members on a moonlit night… these pieces fall in line. They all have a place in this space to contribute to our experience. These pieces hold meaning individually but even more so when they fit together and connect… much like our expedition members. We are individually strong and unique. We recognize, honor, and respect that. When connected and serving as one, we are an entity of our own. We will not loose our individuality, but take pride in who we are as individuals knowing that our contribution will strengthen the group and complete the puzzle to create the whole.
